Father’s six-step guide to a happy marriage sweeps the internet as fans praise the ‘thoughtful’ tips – but others slam him for encouraging couples to bottle up their relationship woes
- Ryan Stephens, a business analyst from America, went viral on Twitter with tips
- Has been married to wife Alaina for six years and they share a two-year-old son
- Six-step guide to a lasting marriage highlighted respect and communication
- His tweet racked up 40,000 retweets and likes, though some questioned it
A man’s six-step guide on how to have a successful marriage has gone viral on Twitter.
Ryan Stephens, a business analyst from America, has been married to Alaina for six years, and the couple share a two-year-old son.
The couple post regular updates on their blog, sharing advice on how to approach parenting and marital issues.
Posting on Twitter earlier this week, Ryan gave his top tips for maintaining a happy relationship, highlighting the importance of trying new things, respecting each other in front of your children, and advising couples to see each other as teammates.
Many followers praised his tweet which received 40,000 retweets and likes, but some questioned his advice on not speaking negatively about your spouse, arguing that keeping emotions bottle up was ‘unhealthy’.
Ryan Stephens, a business analyst from America, has been married to Alaina for six years, and the couple share a two-year-old son, seen above. His six-step guide to a how to have a successful marriage went viral on Twitter with 40,000 retweets and likes
Sharing his advice, Ryan wrote: ‘My wife and I have found that focusing more on being teammates and less on being soulmates is a solid recipe for marital success.
‘Here’s quick thread on the 6 rules we try to follow to be a good teammate to each other in our marriage.’
He began by encouraging followers not to badmouth their partner, explaining: ‘No one should ever hear anything bad about your spouse from you. It’s one thing to joke with friends about something trivial and quite another to demean your spouse’s character.
‘Know the difference and always discuss the latter with your spouse and no one else.’
His next piece of advice was to ‘over communicate’, arguing: ‘You cannot read each other’s minds. Never assume the other person knows what you meant.
‘Give each other the benefit of the doubt when miscommunications happen. Double check if necessary.’
Taking to Twitter this week, Ryan gave his top tips to maintaining a happy relationship, highlighting the importance of trying new things, respecting each other in front of your children, and advising couples to see each other as teammates
Ryan continued by highlighting the importance of trying new experience together.
‘Even if one of you is typically more adventurous than the other, have fun with it,’ he said.
‘Trying new things gets an individual out of their comfort zone and is often easier as a couple, allowing you both to grow stronger together.’
Ryan’s fourth tip was to celebrate wins and encourage each other’s achievements.
He said: ‘Bring home champagne after a promotion at work, back each other up when engaging in that battle with your heathen toddler, work out together, etc. Never cut the other person down when they’re struggling.’
Next up Ryan reminded couples to be grateful and avoid a ‘tit for tat’ mentality.
‘Whether it be money, time, chores, childcare, or anything else, no one contribution is greater than another. And don’t keep score. If you truly value each other’s input, then the scorecard shouldn’t (and doesn’t) matter,’ he said.
Ryan Stephens advised couples not to badmouth each other to friends and family as it woulkd ‘demean’ their character
Ryan advised couples to remember they couldn’t read each other’s mind and to ensure they always communicated effectively and gave each other the benefit of the doubt
Lastly he asked husbands and wives to ‘trust and respect each other’.
He added: ‘Especially in front of others, including your children. If you do not respect your spouse in front of other people, why should those people respect your spouse? Enough said.’
And the man’s advice was inundated with praise from followers, with one writing: ‘You nailed the first point teamwork.
‘Everything else comes back to that. Wife and I have always thought of our relationship as teammates and are each other’s best friends. Seventeen years together and counting.’
Another added: ‘Love this one especially. Never understood cutting your spouse down in front of others.’
Highlighting communication as one of the most important factors, one follower tweeted: ‘Twenty-four years together…. there is no such thing as over communicating’.
And one wrote: ‘It warms my heart to hear a man speak positively about his wife… especially when she’s not there to hear. Says a lot about the man.’
Ryan advised couples to try new things together, explaining that experiencing things outside of the comfort zone would allow couples to grow stronger
The fourth tip shared by Ryan advised spouses to be each other’s biggest champions and celebrate wins together
However some questioned his advice on not speaking negatively about your relationship.
One argued: ‘I mostly agree with your number one except for when you did talk it out and had to agree to disagree basically. I need to talk with my girls!
‘I’m not trying to demean his character I just disagree with some actions but it is his decision, so I can’t complain a little?’
Agreeing, another said: ‘Talk to people you can trust and that value you. It’s healthy to process negative emotions about a spouse. It’s a way for people to work things out verbally.
‘I process by taking so I vent to close friends who I know I can trust. It helps my marriage and I’m able to vent.’
A further follower agreed, writing: ‘I have a hard time believing this is healthy. From everything I’ve ever seen in other relationships and experienced in my own, I think too much privacy around a relationship creates fertile ground for manipulation and toxicity.’
Replying to followers, Ryan explained his point further, tweeting: ‘I joke that after my wife goes to wine night with her girlfriends, she always comes back and appreciates me more.
‘Venting about something to a trusted friend is different than disparaging your spouse’s character or making them the butt of jokes in front of others.’
Ryan’s fifth tip was to be grateful for each other and not keep scores of what the other had done
Ryan’s last tip was to trust and respect each other and not disrespect each other in front of your children
Many followers praised the tips, agreeing that communication was often overlooked in relationships
However others questioned some of his tips, arguing that it was unhealthy not to discuss problems with friends