Self Help

Self-Care: A Working Definition

Written by admin



@font-face
font-family: imperial-italic-500;
src: local(“&#9786︎”), url(https://g1.nyt.com/fonts/family/imperial/imperial-italic-500.woff) format(“woff”), url(https://g1.nyt.com/fonts/family/imperial/imperial-italic-500.ttf) format(“truetype”);
font-style: italic;
font-weight: 500;

@font-face
font-family: imperial-italic-600;
src: local(“&#9786︎”), url(https://g1.nyt.com/fonts/family/imperial/imperial-italic-600.woff) format(“woff”), url(https://g1.nyt.com/fonts/family/imperial/imperial-italic-600.ttf) format(“truetype”);
font-style: italic;
font-weight: 600;

@font-face
font-family: imperial-italic-700;
src: local(“&#9786︎”), url(https://g1.nyt.com/fonts/family/imperial/imperial-italic-700.woff) format(“woff”), url(https://g1.nyt.com/fonts/family/imperial/imperial-italic-700.ttf) format(“truetype”);
font-style: italic;
font-weight: 700;

@font-face
font-family: imperial-normal-500;
src: local(“&#9786︎”), url(https://g1.nyt.com/fonts/family/imperial/imperial-normal-500.woff) format(“woff”), url(https://g1.nyt.com/fonts/family/imperial/imperial-normal-500.ttf) format(“truetype”);
font-weight: 500;

@font-face
font-family: imperial-normal-600;
src: local(“&#9786︎”), url(https://g1.nyt.com/fonts/family/imperial/imperial-normal-600.woff) format(“woff”), url(https://g1.nyt.com/fonts/family/imperial/imperial-normal-600.ttf) format(“truetype”);
font-weight: 600;

@font-face
font-family: imperial-normal-700;
src: local(“&#9786︎”), url(https://g1.nyt.com/fonts/family/imperial/imperial-normal-700.woff) format(“woff”), url(https://g1.nyt.com/fonts/family/imperial/imperial-normal-700.ttf) format(“truetype”);
font-weight: 700;

/*
SHOW LIBRARY
===================== */
.g-show-xsmall,
.g-show-small,
.g-show-smallplus,
.g-show-submedium,
.g-show-sub-medium,
.g-show-medium,
.g-show-large,
.g-show-xlarge
display: none;

.g-show
display: block;

.lt-ie10 .g-aiImg
width: 100%;

/* Fix spacing at top of story */
.has-top-ad .story.theme-interactive,
.has-ribbon .story.theme-interactive
margin-top: 10px;

/* Fix comments button margin */
.story.theme-interactive .comments-button.theme-kicker
margin-top: 0;

/* Get rid of border under intro and share tools on mobile */
.page-interactive-default .story.theme-main .story-header
border-bottom: none;

/* Pad out the kicker/sharetool space */
.story.theme-interactive .story-meta .kicker
margin-bottom: 22px;

.viewport-medium-10 .story.theme-interactive .story-meta .kicker
margin-bottom: 24px;

/* Override the moving sharetools on mobile */
.story.theme-interactive .story-header .story-meta .kicker-container .sharetools
position: relative;
left: auto;
bottom: auto;
width: auto;
margin-top: -6px;
float: right;
clear: none;

/* Maintain the proper space with the section name and kicker next to share tools */
.story.theme-interactive .story-header .story-meta .interactive-kicker
float: left;
width: 65%;
display: inline-block;

/* Gets rid of the extra space under the intro that puts too much space there in mobile and desktop */
.page-interactive-default .story.theme-main .story-header
margin-bottom: 0;

.page-interactive-default .story.theme-main .story-header .story-meta
margin-bottom: 10px;

/*Fixes styling on share tools at bottom of minimal interactives*/
.story.theme-minimal .sharetools.layout-horizontal
width:auto;
margin-top:11px;

.story.theme-minimal .sharetools.layout-horizontal .sharetool
display: inline-block;
border-top: 0;

.story.theme-minimal .sharetools.layout-horizontal .sharetool:first-child a
margin-left: 0;
padding-left: 0;
border-left: none;

.story.theme-minimal .sharetools.layout-horizontal .sharetool a
padding-left: 15px;
padding-right: 5px;
height: 20px;
border-left: 1px solid #e2e2e2;

.story.theme-minimal .sharetools.layout-horizontal .sharetool a:hover
background-color: transparent;

.story.theme-main.interactive-embedded .story-footer:before
display: none;

/* uncomment to fix related content and footer layout on max_width: 720 pages */
/*
.related-coverage
max-width: 720px;

.viewport-medium-30 .page-footer nav ul,
.viewport-medium-50 .page-footer nav ul
margin-left: 28px;

.viewport-medium-30 .page-footer nav.last-nav
float: none;

.viewport-medium-30 .page-footer nav.last-nav ul
margin-left: 239px;

*/

/* story top */
.story.theme-main .story-header .story-meta .story-heading
max-width: 720px;
margin: 0 auto 10px;
text-align: center;
line-height: 2.844rem;
font-size: 2.4rem;

@media only screen and (max-width: 1244px)
.story.theme-main .story-header .story-meta .story-heading
line-height: 2.5596rem;
font-size: 2.16rem;

@media only screen and (max-width: 719px)
.story.theme-main .story-header .story-meta .story-heading
line-height: 2.2752rem;
font-size: 1.92rem;

.story.theme-main .story-header .story-meta .interactive-leadin.summary
max-width: 460px;
margin: 0 auto 20px auto;
text-align: left;
font-size: 17px;
line-height: 1.6;

.story.theme-main .story-header .story-meta .interactive-leadin.summary .dateline
text-align: center;
display: block;

.story.theme-main .story-header .story-meta .byline-dateline
text-align: center;

.story.theme-main .story-footer .interactive-byline .byline-dateline .byline
font-family: “nyt-franklin”, arial, sans-serif;
font-weight: 500;

/* top asset */
.g-top-asset
margin-left: auto;
margin-right: auto;
margin-bottom: 20px;

.g-top-asset img
width: 100%;

/* body text */
.g-body
max-width: 460px;
margin-left: auto;
margin-right: auto;

.viewport-medium .g-body
font-size: 17px;
line-height: 1.6;

.g-body b,
.g-body strong
font-family: “nyt-franklin”, arial, sans-serif;

.g-body a
text-decoration: underline;

/* subhed */
.g-subhed h2
max-width: 460px;
margin: 2em auto 1em auto;
font: 700 1.2em/1.3em ‘nyt-franklin’, arial, sans-serif;
text-align: center;

.viewport-small-10 .g-subhed h2
font-size: 1.5em;

/* refer text box */
.g-refer
max-width: 460px;
margin: 0 auto 25px;
padding: 12px 15px;
box-sizing: border-box;
background: #fffcd9;

.g-refer .g-body
font-family: ‘nyt-franklin’, arial, sans-serif;
font-size: 16px;
line-height: 1.3;
margin-bottom: 0;

.g-refer a
text-decoration: underline;

/* images */
.g-item-image
margin: 25px auto;

.g-item-image img
width: 100%;

/* video */
.g-item-video
margin: 25px auto;

.g-youtube-container
position: relative;
padding-bottom: 56.25%;
/* 16:9 */
height: 0;

.g-youtube-container iframe
position: absolute;
top: 0;
left: 0;
width: 100%;
height: 100%;

/* sources and credits */
.g-asset-source
font: 400 11px/16px “nyt-cheltenham-sh”, georgia, “times new roman”, times, serif;
padding-top: 5px;
color: #999;

.g-asset-source .g-pipe
margin: 0 6px 0 3px;
font-size: 12px;
line-height: 12px;
color: #ddd;

.g-asset-source .g-caption
font-weight: 300;
font-size: 13px;
line-height: 17px;
color: #666;

.g-asset-source .g-credit
display: inline-block;

/* graphics */
.g-item-graphic
margin: 25px auto;

p.g-asset-hed
font: 700 16px/18px ‘nyt-franklin’, arial, sans-serif;
margin-bottom: 0;

.g-key.keytype-segmented
margin: 10px auto 15px auto;

.g-key.keytype-segmented div.clear
clear: both;

.g-key.keytype-segmented .g-key-row.g-key-row-title
margin-right: 15px;

.g-key.keytype-segmented .g-key-row.g-key-row-title p
position: static;
transform: none;
text-align: left;
vertical-align: top;
margin-top: -3px;

.g-key.keytype-segmented .g-key-row
position: relative;
margin: 0;
float: left;

.g-key.keytype-segmented .g-key-row .g-key-rect
display: block;
margin: 0;
width: 35px;
height: 10px;

.g-key.keytype-segmented .g-key-row p
position: absolute;
text-align: center;
line-height: 1em;
margin-top: 3px;
right: 0;
transform: translate(50%, 0);

.g-key.keytype-segmented .g-key-row p.g-beginval
left: 0;
transform: translate(-50%, 0);

.g-key.keytype-inline
overflow: hidden;
margin: 10px auto 4px auto;

.g-key.keytype-inline .g-key-row
margin-bottom: 5px;
margin-right: 15px;
display: inline-block;

.viewport-small .g-key.keytype-inline .g-key-row
width: auto;
margin-bottom: 0;

.viewport-small-20 .g-key.keytype-inline .g-key-row
width: auto;

.g-key.keytype-inline .g-key-row .g-key-rect,
.g-key.keytype-inline .g-key-row .g-key-circle
display: inline-block;
vertical-align: middle;
margin-right: 1px;

.g-key.keytype-inline .g-key-row .g-key-rect
width: 22px;
height: 10px;

.g-key.keytype-inline .g-key-row .g-key-circle
width: 9px;
height: 9px;
border-radius: 50%;

.g-key.keytype-inline .g-key-row .g-key-custom
width: 20px;
height: 20px;
background-size: 100%;
display: block;
display: inline-block;
width: 24px;
height: 24px;
margin: -4px 2px 0 0;

.g-key .g-key-row p
font: 500 0.9em/1.6 ‘nyt-franklin’, arial, sans-serif;
display: inline-block;
vertical-align: middle;
margin: 0;

.viewport-small .g-key .g-key-row p
max-width: 92%;

.viewport-small-20 .g-key .g-key-row p
width: auto;
max-width: none;

.viewport-small .g-key .g-key-row-title p
width: 100%;
max-width: none;

.g-red-dot,
.g-black-dot
display: inline-block;
background: #d00;
color: white;
font-weight: bold;
width: 20px;
height: 20px;
font: 700 14px/1.4 ‘nyt-franklin’, arial, sans-serif;
text-align: center;
border-radius: 10px;
line-height: 20px;

.g-black-dot
background: #222;

/* column text */
.g-column-container
max-width: 460px;
margin: 20px auto 0 auto;

.viewport-medium .g-column-container
max-width: 1050px;

.viewport-large .g-column-container
margin-bottom: 30px;

.g-column-container .g-column-hed
font-family: ‘nyt-franklin’, arial, sans-serif;
font-weight: 700;
margin-bottom: 2px;

.g-column-container .g-column-text
padding-right: 8px;

.g-column-container .g-column-col
vertical-align: top;

.viewport-small .g-column-container .g-column-col
display: block;
min-width: 100%;

.viewport-medium .g-column-container .g-column-col
min-width: 0;
display: inline-block;
margin-right: 3px;

.viewport-medium .g-column-container .g-column-col:last-child
margin-right: 0;

.g-column-container .g-column-col .g-asset-source .g-credit
margin-bottom: 0;

.g-column-container .g-column-asset
margin-bottom: 5px;

.g-column-container .g-column-image img
width: 100%;

/* tables */
.g-table-container
margin: 0 auto;
margin-bottom: 25px;

.g-table-container tr
border-bottom: 1px solid #ececec;

.g-table-container p
font: 500 14px/1.4 ‘nyt-franklin’, arial, sans-serif;
text-align: left;
margin: 6px 0;

/* charts */
.g-chart-container
margin: 0 auto;
margin-bottom: 25px;
font: 500 14px/1.4 ‘nyt-franklin’, arial, sans-serif;

.g-chart-container .g-chart-header
font-weight: bold;

.g-chart-container .g-chart-row,
.g-chart-container .g-chart-header
clear: both;
height: 22px;
margin-bottom: 9px;

.g-chart-container .g-chart-bar-container,
.g-chart-container .g-chart-label
float: left;
height: 100%;

.g-chart-container .g-chart-bar-container
margin-left: 20px;

.g-chart-container .g-chart-bar-pos,
.g-chart-container .g-chart-bar-neg
height: 100%;
float: left;

.g-chart-container .g-chart-label,
.g-chart-container .g-chart-bar
padding-top: 3px;

.g-chart-container .g-chart-label.not-first
margin-left: 20px;

.g-chart-container .g-chart-bar
height: 100%;
background: lightsteelblue;
position: relative;

.g-chart-container .g-chart-bar-label
padding-left: 6px;

.g-chart-container .g-chart-bar-neg .g-chart-bar
float: right;

.g-chart-container .g-chart-bar-neg .g-chart-bar-label
text-align: right;
padding-right: 6px;
padding-left: 0px;

.g-chart-container .out-label
padding-top: 3px;
display: none;

.g-chart-container .outside .out-label
display: block;

.g-chart-container .outside .in-label
display: none;

.g-chart-container .g-bold
font-weight: bold;

/* grid */
.g-grid
margin-bottom: 15px;

.g-grid .g-grid-item-container
margin: 0 auto;

.g-grid .g-grid-item
position: relative;
display: inline-block;
min-width: calc(50% – 5px);

.viewport-small-20 .g-grid .g-grid-item
min-width: calc(33% – 5px);

.viewport-medium .g-grid .g-grid-item
min-width: 0;

.g-grid .g-grid-item p
font: 500 15px/1.4 ‘nyt-franklin’, arial, sans-serif;
position: absolute;
bottom: 10px;
left: 10px;
color: #fff;
margin-bottom: 0;

/* lazy images */
.g-freebird-lazy
display: block;
width: 100%;
height: auto;

.g-freebird-lazy.ll-init
transition: opacity 0.3s ease-out;
opacity: 0;

.g-freebird-lazy.ll-loaded
opacity: 1;

/* Mobile issues */
/* Get rid of border under intro and share tools on mobile */
.story-header.interactive-header
border-bottom: none !important;

/* Share tools issues */
/* Pad out the kicker/sharetool space */
.story.theme-main .story-header .story-meta .kicker-container
margin-bottom: 12px;

/* Override the moving sharetools on mobile */
.story.theme-main .story-header .story-meta .kicker-container .sharetools
position: relative;
float: right;
/*right: 0px;*/
bottom: auto;
left: auto;
width: auto;
margin-top: -6px;
clear: none;

/* Maintain the proper space with the section name and kicker next to share tools */
.story.theme-main .story-header .story-meta .interactive-kicker
float: left;
width: 70%;
display: inline-block;

#g-related-duplicate .g-ad-wrapper,
.g-graphic.g-graphic-freebird .g-ad-wrapper
margin: 30px auto;
max-width: 1050px;

.viewport-medium #g-related-duplicate .g-ad-wrapper,
.viewport-medium .g-graphic.g-graphic-freebird .g-ad-wrapper
margin: 50px auto;

#g-related-duplicate .g-ad-wrapper .ad,
.g-graphic.g-graphic-freebird .g-ad-wrapper .ad
border-top: 1px solid #e2e2e2 !important;
border-bottom: 1px solid #e2e2e2 !important;
margin: 0 auto;
padding: 10px 0;
overflow: hidden;
max-width: 100%;

#g-related-duplicate .g-ad-wrapper .ad div,
.g-graphic.g-graphic-freebird .g-ad-wrapper .ad div
margin: 0 auto;
display: block !important;

#g-related-duplicate .g-ad-wrapper iframe,
.g-graphic.g-graphic-freebird .g-ad-wrapper iframe
margin: 0 auto;
display: block;

#g-related-duplicate .g-ad-wrapper .g-ad-text,
.g-graphic.g-graphic-freebird .g-ad-wrapper .g-ad-text
text-align: center;
font: 500 12px/1.2 “nyt-franklin”, arial, sans-serif;
color: #bfbfbf;
text-transform: uppercase;
margin-bottom: 7px;

.ad.top-ad
border: none;
margin-left: auto;
margin-right: auto;

/* slideshow */
.g-item.g-slideshow
margin-bottom: 25px;

.g-slideshow-container
position: relative;
margin-bottom: 10px;
overflow: hidden;
margin: 0 auto;

.g-slideshow-container img
width: 100%;

.g-slideshow-slide
position: absolute;
width: 100%;
height: 100%;
background-color: #fff;

.g-slideshow-placeholder
opacity: 0;
z-index: -1;
pointer-events: none;

.g-slide-fade
opacity: 0;
transition: opacity 0.8s ease-in-out;
-webkit-transition: opacity 0.8s ease-in-out;

.g-slide-fade.g-slideshow-slide-active
opacity: 1;

/* no effect styles */
.g-slide-no
display: none;

.g-slide-no.g-slideshow-slide-active
display: block;

/* text styles */
.g-slideshow-slide .g-hed
font-family: “nyt-franklin”, arial, sans-serif;
font-weight: 700;
font-size: 18px;
text-align: center;
margin: 10px 0 8px;

.g-slideshow-slide .g-text
font-family: “nyt-franklin”, arial, sans-serif;
text-align: center;

.g-text-box
width: auto;
position: absolute;
top: 0px;
right: 0px;
color: #fff;
text-shadow: 1px 1px 8px #000;

.g-text-box .g-text
background-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.3);
padding: 5px 7px;

/* scroll slides (aka “fixedslides”) */
.g-graphic-container
position: relative;

.g-fixed-graphic
position: absolute;
top: 0;
left: 50%;
max-width: 100%;
width: 100%;
transform: translateX(-50%);

.g-fixedstate-post .g-fixed-graphic
position: absolute;
bottom: 0;
top: auto;

.g-fixedstate-fixed .g-fixed-graphic
-webkit-transform: translateZ(0px);
-webkit-backface-visibility: hidden;
position: fixed;
top: 50vh;
left: 50%;
transform: translate(-50%, -50%);

.g-fixed-inner
position: relative;

.g-fixed-items
position: relative;
margin: auto;

.g-fixed-items,
.g-fixed-graphic
max-width: 1050px;

.g-fixed-item
position: relative;
margin: 0 auto;
max-width: 720px;
min-height: 90vh;
z-index: 2;

.g-fixed-item .g-item-content-wrapper
width: 100%;
padding-top: calc(70% + 30px);

.g-item.g-fixedslides
margin-bottom: 25px;

.g-fixedslides-slides-screenposition
overflow: hidden;

.g-fixedslides-slideposition
position: absolute;
width: 100%;
height: 100%;
top: 0;
left: 0;

.g-fixedslides-effect-slide .g-fixedslides-slideposition
transition: transform 0.3s ease;

.g-fixedslides-slide
position: absolute;
top: 0;
width: 100%;
opacity: 0;
z-index: 1;

.g-fixedslides-slide.g-active
z-index: 2;
opacity: 1;

.g-fixedslides-effect-fade .g-fixedslides-slide.g-previousactive
z-index: 3;
opacity: 0;
transition: opacity 0.3s ease;

.g-fixedslides-effect-slide .g-fixedslides-slideposition,
.g-fixedslides-effect-slidedown .g-fixedslides-slideposition
transition: transform 0.3s ease;

.g-fixedslides-effect-slide .g-fixedslides-slide,
.g-fixedslides-effect-slidedown .g-fixedslides-slide
opacity: 1;
z-index: 1;

ul.g-fixedslides-stepper
display: none;

.g-fixedslides-stepper-stepper ul.g-fixedslides-stepper
display: block;
position: absolute;
z-index: 4;
right: 10px;
top: 50%;
transform: translateY(-50%);
padding: 0;
margin: 0px;

ul.g-fixedslides-stepper li
display: block;
width: 6px;
height: 6px;
background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.4);
border-radius: 50%;
padding: 0;
margin: 3px 0;
border: 1px solid rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1);
transition: border-color 0.3s ease, background-color 0.3s ease;

ul.g-fixedslides-stepper li.g-active
background-color: #ffffff;
border: 1px solid #ffffff;

.g-fixedslides-effect-slide ul.g-fixedslides-stepper
top: auto;
bottom: 10px;
right: auto;
left: 50%;
transform: translateX(-50%);

.g-fixedslides-effect-slide ul.g-fixedslides-stepper li
display: inline-block;

.g-fixedslides-text
min-height: auto;
padding-top: 0;
padding-bottom: 70vh;

.g-fixedslides-text.g-fixedslides-text-0
padding-top: 70vh;

.g-fixedslides-text .g-body
padding: 8px 12px !important;
background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.9);

.g-fixedslides-theme-white .g-fixedslides-text .g-body
background-color: transparent;
padding: 0;
color: #fff;
text-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.333) 0px 0px 2px, rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.333) 0px 0px 6px, rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.333) 0px 0px 10px, rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.333) 0px 0px 10px, rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.333) 0px 0px 10px, rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.333) 0px 0px 20px;

.g-fixedslides-theme-whiteonblack .g-fixedslides-text .g-body
background-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.4);
color: #fff;

/* freebird fullbleed for mobile */
.g-graphic-freebird
max-width: 1050px;
margin: 0 auto;

/* remove left offset */
.viewport-medium-50 .masthead.masthead-theme-standard,
.viewport-large-20 .masthead.masthead-theme-standard
margin-left: 0;

.viewport-large-70 .masthead.masthead-theme-standard
margin-left: auto;

.viewport-medium-50 .masthead.masthead-theme-standard .quick-navigation,
.viewport-large-20 .masthead.masthead-theme-standard .quick-navigation
left: 15px;

#navigation-edge
display: none;

/* fullbleed #main */
#main
padding-left: 0;
padding-right: 0;

.viewport-medium-10 #main
width: 100%;
max-width: 100%;

/* constrain template containers */
.ad.top-ad
margin-left: 0;
margin-right: 0;

.story-header.interactive-header,
.story.theme-main .story-footer,
.related-coverage
margin-left: 20px;
margin-right: 20px;

.viewport-medium-10 .ad.top-ad,
.viewport-medium-10 .story-header.interactive-header,
.viewport-medium-10 .story.theme-main .story-footer,
.viewport-medium-10 .related-coverage
max-width: 720px;
margin-left: auto;
margin-right: auto;

.viewport-medium-30 .ad.top-ad,
.viewport-medium-30 .story-header.interactive-header,
.viewport-medium-30 .story.theme-main .story-footer,
.viewport-medium-30 .related-coverage
max-width: 945px;

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Self-Care:
A Working Definition

A collective, non-exhaustive list of behaviors and diagrams that keep us on point, compiled by some employees of The New York Times.

AUGUST 11, 2018

Self-care /self /ker/

noun (self-care)

The practice of taking action to “preserve or improve one’s own health,” according to Oxford Dictionaries. Self-care is for anyone who wants it. It can be as easy — and as free — as taking a walk, or as complex as learning a trade. Self-care can include, but is not limited to: saying no; buying things; refusing to buy things; taking a long walk; helping others; exercising; crafting; stockpiling and organizing things like coins and arranging them meticulously into Ziploc bags; stretching; listening to disco; spending time alone; singing karaoke (sometimes, alone); intending to one day start meditating.

If face masks are involved, it’s probably self-care.

[as modifier] It’s my favorite day of the week: self-care Sunday!

verb (self-care, self-caring)

Taking care of oneself.

Q: Can you go out today?

A: No, I am self-caring.

Francesca Donner

When I was growing up, my dad made spaghetti. It wasn’t fancy. It was basic and chunky, a meat sauce spooned over coils of pasta with blocks of butter tossed in.

Not all of my dad’s dinners were good. He had a penchant for celeriac boiled in water and liverwurst with onions. But the spaghetti was always the same, and it was always good.

Nowadays, dad’s spaghetti is my spaghetti: as much therapy as it is dinner. When life starts spinning too fast, I go to the supermarket and get what I need: ground beef, garlic, mushrooms, carrots, flat leaf parsley, canned tomatoes, tomato paste, dried pasta. My world starts to calm just seeing the ingredients collected together in the basket.

At home, as the meat browns in a cast iron pot, the slicing and dicing begins. I don’t need background noise. I don’t need music. I certainly don’t need conversation. It’s just me and a good chef’s knife and the sizzle of olive oil in the pan. After the meat is browned, it’s removed from the pan. Then I start afresh with more olive oil followed by garlic, carrots, mushrooms. Back in goes the meat. Tomato paste. Canned plum tomatoes. Salt, pepper. Maybe some butter. The parsley goes in last, a fluttering of leaves that sink down into the sauce, taking my stress with it.

Cooking is a funny form of self care because it is so much in service of others. But while others may eat my spaghetti, the sauce is definitely for me.

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Choire Sicha

I’m like a working dog who sometimes forgets it. I spend a lot of time bringing tennis balls to people who didn’t ever ask for them and then I stare at everyone and wonder why they’re not throwing the tennis ball for me. The “tennis ball” is usually a memo of some kind. Then when no one throws my ball I go to lay down for a while and then I become sad. Soon I become a confused prissy toy dog pouting on a pillow.

The only way I ever feel better is through sheer brute accomplishment or doing something for someone who isn’t me so I can forget about how dumb I feel.

What kind of dog are you? I’m mostly attracted to herding dogs. I’m a loner who likes to get rounded up. Shove me around, I’m there for it! I like hounds too, they make good novelists and songwriters and painters, they always smell something weird far away and then they wander off towards it then I have to help them bring it back. They are always all muddy and I get to complain about it.

I also like terriers because they dig out rats and their secrets. They make good reporters and publicists. The yapping is excruciating though. You know who you are.

If you don’t know what kind of dog you are you don’t know how to take care of yourself. I have to take care of myself by making a list of things and doing them. If I don’t do them I am overcome with a crippling grey cloud that results in overly long soggy showers and needs to nap and watch many episodes of T.V. shows that are set in space. Work is the only thing to do before we are all put down.

Also if you don’t know what kind of dog you are then you’re missing out, or you are a cat which is okay, but not great, and I say that with a whole lot of respect. But cats will never have the fulfillment of a job. Please read my memos.

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Jenna Wortham

The biggest breakthrough I’ve had around self-care, or the ways in which I try to nurture myself as a corporeal entity and an energetic presence, is that the ability to say “no” with frequency, conviction and abandon can save you. Living as a media professional in a city like New York means leading a life that is dominated by asks. That includes cold emails proposing coffee meetings, invitations to dinners, requests for contributions and inquiries via various DM platforms. At a very basic level, even the act of commuting around the city requires fielding other people’s feral energy fields. I’ve had to learn that saying no is as essential to my well-being as resting and taking herbal baths. Saying no means changing your relationship to guilt. You have to be O.K. with disappointing people and make yourself impervious to emotional manipulation. Saying no requires tuning into the self to understand your own needs and to recognize when you are too exhausted, too wiped, stretched too thin to do one more thing. This is a harder habit to cultivate than a new exercise routine or healthy eating habits, trust! But it’s entirely worth it.

Jessica Bennett

My mom has a friend who is a reiki healer, and for well over a decade she’s been the highlight of our family’s Thanksgiving dinners. Each year, over plates piled high with stuffing, she begins belching: burping up our “negative energy” before we can stick our forks into the food. It’s like saying grace, but also nothing like that.

I never believed this release of negative energy through belching was real — until I suddenly had my own negative energy to burp up. A terrible breakup had left my body reeling in all sorts of crazy ways, including… yes, burping. The kind that I couldn’t stop, until I was physically sick.

Half a dozen medical professionals told me the problem was psychosomatic. One suggested I was simply chewing too much gum. It seemed destined that a reiki therapist would be the one to heal me.

My reiki therapist — who is not the same healer as my mother’s friend — uses a technique known as manual therapy, or osteopathy. She combines craniosacral therapy, or gentle manipulations of my skull, with something called somato emotional release, which is supposed to cleanse your mind of past trauma, as well as visceral and neural manipulation, both of which I just had to google. These are mostly just words to me, but the point is that it works. Inexplicable burping, intestinal issues and insomnia are just some of the ailments that, for the past five years, this healer has helped me resolve. My bi-weekly visits are now a non-negotiable ritual.

At Thanksgiving last year, my brothers and I still snickered quietly at the annual burping — this time, as my mother’s friend performed a healing ritual on my dog. The difference: I’m a believer.

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Maya Salam

Have you ever tried hanging upside-down like a bat? I swear by it.

Nothing has ever been quite as effective at improving my physical and mental well-being — so much so that when I moved away from the aerial yoga studio where I used to take classes and into my own house, I had an aerial hammock mounted from the ceiling. (Have a professional do this; it needs to be structurally sound enough to handle a body in motion.)

When I’m stressed out or in any kind of pain, I climb into my hammock as if it were a cocoon and dangle upside down in various positions until I feel, you know, mellow.

I’ve done a lot of sports in my life that have taken a toll on my body, particularly boxing, skateboarding and snowboarding. These days, I hunch over a desk for hours at least five days a week, which is almost as physically brutal.

Being inverted helps by elongating my spine (take that, computer neck), rehydrating the vertebrae along the way, and it allows me to stretch more deeply into every muscle, from my jaw to my toes, than I’ve ever been able to.

It has the mental restorative properties that other types of yoga offer, with an anti-gravity twist. It gives me a new perspective on the world around me.

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Shane O’Neill

Meditation is one of the most incredible and transformative things you can do for yourself. Or so I’ve heard.

That’s why, for me, self-care means planning to meditate someday but never actually getting around to it. It is in the intention.

There are apps: I’ve downloaded them.

There are books: I’ve bought them.

There are free guided meditations online: I’ve bookmarked them.

While research supports the idea that meditation would be good for me, I know there’s a significant risk. Spending time alone with myself could be hard or scary or uncomfortable or, worst yet, boring. But planning to meditate? That’s a guaranteed way to feel a tiny bit better before I get back to the destructive choices and thought patterns that brought me to the brink of almost considering meditation in the first place.

I deployed a similar logic in my 20s when I was a daily smoker: I read somewhere that quitting smoking was the healthiest choice any human being could make, other than never smoking to begin with. “Well,” I thought as I dragged on a cigarette, “after I quit, I won’t be able to make the healthiest choice ever again, so might as well keep this Ace up my sleeve as long as possible.”

Eventually I quit smoking, so maybe eventually I’ll meditate.

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Sandra Garcia

Using my hands has always brought me back to center. Whether it’s D.I.Y.-ing a nightstand I found on Craigslist for $5, reupholstering furniture or working on my bicycle, taking something apart and putting it back together helps me focus my thoughts and temper the noise of the news cycle. It gives me permission to get out of my head.

To concentrate on the task at hand, I have to quiet my internal dialogue. My mind has to be fixated on parts, order and rebuilding. Anyone who has moved with Ikea furniture knows this to be true, but while some find it frustrating, I relish it.

It is lavish to work on a project with no set time frame. To know that my work does not have to begin or end on a deadline is freeing. I can start whenever I want and finish when the work is done.

Not being able to see past what is in front of me is a luxury. Getting dirty is a luxury. Not worrying if there are paint smears or grease or bits of batting all over my clothes is the most luxurious thing I can imagine.

Sometimes, I listen to music while I work. I prefer to listen to disco. Artists like Donna Summer, the Bee Gees and Chic, because I don’t think about the words to the music the way I do with rap or love songs. Disco allows my body to relax and move with the rhythm.

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Bonnie Wertheim

I am an introvert, which is to say that I love socializing, but it exhausts me. So I try to do at least one thing alone every day. Most mornings I’ll run a few miles around my quiet neighborhood listening to a sexyish playlist that’s sometimes just “Motivation” by Kelly Rowland on repeat. It keeps my interpersonal-emotional tank full and also reduces the daily number of nagging dysmorphic thoughts that pass through my brain. The days that start this way — with an hour of dedicated, active time to myself — are almost always better.

On weekends I try to stretch out my solitude for hours. I’ll often take the Q across the Manhattan Bridge to Canal Street and walk up Broadway, stopping in stores that are mostly very familiar but deliver occasional surprises. A big part of self-care, I think, is habit, or replicability, which the hobbyist shopper can easily find in SoHo, even as the storefronts regularly shutter and spring up again. They’re always new versions of the same thing.

Usually I’ll go into Bloomingdale’s and speed walk through the first-floor cosmetics booths toward the escalator, up to women’s shoes, and contemporary dresses, and Forty Carrots, which serves the only truly great frozen yogurt on this planet. It’s not the most graceful thing, but I like to walk through the store with my froyo in one hand and the other free to touch… everything with a price tag. The buttery leather handbags, the silky cocktail dresses, the jersey cotton pajamas, the socklike athletic sneakers. I call it “market research,” but that’s a not-great joke used to disguise a leisure activity best completed by myself.

Then I’ll wander in either direction on Prince Street, toward Camper (weird-good shoes!) or Sandro (cute!) or Everlane (affordable linen!) or lululemon (supportive sports bras!). Or I’ll turn on Mercer and browse the lacy racks at Journelle. The experience is more about sensing and feeling the objects, luxuriating in the aromas of mood-setting perfumes and essential oils and incense and candles (the reason every Club Monaco smells the same), and friend-flirting with the sales associates than making a purchase. But sometimes I do that too.

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Jonah Bromwich

I don’t think I am very good at self-care, but I do like to exercise. It first became part of my routine in ninth grade; my brother and I would go to our high school early in the morning to lift weights before classes started. I was a very gangly, awkward teenager — not exactly what you might call “coordinated.” No one had explained to me that the act of lifting dumbbells above my head would force me to assert more control over my limbs. After a couple of months, standing up straight was less of an effort. I was stronger.

Earlier this year, a friend of mine reintroduced me to rock climbing. My only prior experience with scaling rock walls was at birthday parties, where I clung terrified to the lowest set of plastic holds and refused to move. In this case, my friend did not tell me that she planned to make me top rope, which is to say, climb up a high wall in a harness attached to a rope that was attached to her. But suddenly, I was doing it. Over the past few months, I’ve continued to climb, enjoying it more and more every time. It’s brought back that feeling of increased control over my body that I first discovered when I was 14. Because the activity rewards grace and balance less than it does strength and speed, I’ve been compelled to think more about the way I move. That’s something I’ve taken with me outside the gym. Now, when walking, I find myself standing up on my toes; when sitting, I lower myself slowly through the air into my swivel chair, as if I were in a harness and any careless motion might throw me, unexpectedly, to the floor.

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Lindsey Underwood

I’m faced with the same choice every day: I can either walk on a sidewalk that lines the perimeter of the park, or take a slightly longer, more scenic path that runs through the inside. It only adds about two minutes to my commute, but I usually tell myself I don’t have time. The rare days I venture inside the park, I pass people playing softball, or maybe balancing on a slackline. I don’t want to do either of those things. It’s also not a very nice park. But that’s the thing about self-care, I guess: It’s taking the time to do something that makes you feel good. Even if it’s just a little bit good, and even if it’s not that nice.

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Caity Weaver

Although I was not technically raised during America’s Great Depression, I was born on a day closer to the 1930s than to the Byzantine Era, and for this reason I feel the Great Depression in my bones. Anything less than too much of something (notebook paper; tattered T-shirt scraps I have turned into cleaning rags) makes me feel anxious, and ill-prepared for the chaos of the world. So, I stockpile.

My favorite thing to accumulate (besides thousands if not millions of dollars) is loose change. I love to soothe myself by stacking coins into rolls that I can exchange for bills, which I can eventually break to receive more coins in order to begin the process all over again.

I pick up change off the street — part of my concurrent life mission to acquire items at fantastic deals — and combine it with the coins I get back from financial transactions conducted in cash. All of that money goes into a huge Ziploc bag in my apartment. This is Step 1 of my routine: slowly adding change to a plastic bag, over the course of many weeks.

Guess what I didn’t tell you about the Ziploc bag? It’s filled with other Ziploc bags (I have plenty) containing change that has already been sorted by denomination. These bags are the product of Step 2 of the routine, which is the best part: sorting the change.

Here’s how I do it: I gather my sack of filthy coins and situate myself before the TV (which is on). I set aside a pile of the tubular paper wrappers I got for free from the bank several years ago (incredible deal). I transplant coins from the large bag into the smaller bags. Once the smaller bags seem full enough to stock multiple rolls (for the uninitiated, pennies are rolled in groups of 50), I begin to count them out.

Counting out coins is a good TV-watching activity because it involves trance-inducing repetitive motions and requires almost no focus. It also makes me feel like I’m being paid to tidying up my home, which is false. I arrange the coins in rows and funnel them into the fiddly tubes. Leftover coins go back into the smaller Ziplocs.

I put the rolls in a small zippered bag I have labeled COINS to remind myself which of the 10,000 bags in my home contains my coins, as opposed to other objects. I wash my disgustingly filthy (dirty, dusty, borderline muddy — specifically from handling coins) hands, looking forward to the day when they will exchange a bag of heavy paper tubes for more than $11 in cash. I have found peace.

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Natalie Shutler

I’ve got no discernible vocal skills to speak of, but there’s nothing that relaxes me more than belting it out to Tammy Wynette. For a long time, I imagined self-care as an inactive, restful practice — something that should be soothing and quiet. But after a particularly hard workday several years ago, I walked into a karaoke bar in Manhattan’s Koreatown on a whim and put my name on the list. It was a small but supportive crowd: There were only whistles and cheers as I choked over the high notes of Dolly Parton’s “9 to 5.” I found it kind of exhilarating to be alone. I could be anonymous and ham it up at the same time. And then go home, completely and totally relaxed.

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Credit: Shutterstock (water droplets, smoke)

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